Meeting you where you are at

Posted On Mar 02, 2021 |

I have never written a blog before. I always loved the idea of having a blog but always struggled to know where to start. So I'll start with where I am at, it seems like a good place for us to meet each other. 

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.” -Shunryu Suzuki

We’re all at different stages of our existence and I’m making a conscious effort to meet myself and others where they are. I’ve recently turned 44 years old and have been extremely fortunate during this time. I've worked hard, I've been lazy, scared, excited and lost over and over again. I’ve been able to apply myself and position myself to achieve some pretty epic things in my life that I’m super proud of and follow many of the things that excite me. But still, I've certainly managed to pull off some shitty things that I’m not so proud of. I won't bore you with a list here, although I will say this. That list of achievements I would have given you 5-10 years ago, would look extremely different to the list of proud achievements I would share today with you due to a huge shift in perspective. 

I’m also a fairly new Dad to an epic, beautiful little girl named Scarlett who is leaping towards the age of 2. She has been a shining light and a spark that fuels me to become better. Not just better though - exceptionally better. To set higher standards for myself, to strive to unpack myself more so that I can show up more vulnerable. I have spent the better part of my life without the ability to do this. To learn to love myself more and have more self compassion and understanding of myself. To be that example for her. I want her to know that being kind and gentle with yourself is an important quality to build. A quality I didn’t have for so long, battled with and still wrestle hard with today.

I want to teach my Scarlett to strive and work extremely hard for the things she wakes up dreaming about and to develop grit and a fierce determination in pursuit of her passions. But to know that it can be a darker, lonely road without the courage that lies within being vulnerable and empathetic

My daughter alone will not be the only one to benefit from me becoming better at being vulnerable. Everyone around me will benefit from this, because as I build on this skill it will allow me to operate within the values that I truly hold close to me and that level of congruence is something I'm determined to nail and own. I now know that this is where I can be my best - Exposed and vulnerable. This is a true sign of courage. I always thought it was the other way around and I got it completely fucking wrong. I often ponder what things would look like today if I had learnt to strive for success in true alignment with my values and understand them better. To have a better process for handling the Inner Demon that lives in us all. What would peoples experience of me been like then? What would my experience of others have been like? What else is possible? How would flow show up in my life more often? I don't know... I do know that there's a lot of work to still do and I am determined to find out what is possible through this work. But what i I do know is that without it all I wouldn't be at this point where I can have the awareness around, when and if I am giving the best of me to everything and anything. And who knows how epic the impact my little girl can have on the world by learning these qualities from day 1. Not to mention learning how it works in reverse when I screw it up! 

With the above said, it has led me to this place and moment in time. Navigating life is freaking hard and understanding how I view and experience things and the impact it has on me is equally as hard but imperative. I am choosing to believe that all of it was necessary to be able to impact the world around me in a way that is congruent to how I would love for my daughter to experience the world. So, the only thing I can do is accept and own the fact that I have at times not shown up as the best version of me. I have been highly driven by too many extrinsic motivators that don't really matter or exist and at times, excelled at being the best version of me and acknowledge the fact that today, I am trying hard at everything I engage in. I am far more equipped for this now than i used to be, and it's a hell of a ride!  

I am aiming over the journey of my blog to connect the dots between the science and learnings to my own experiences with high performance sports and a life led by "going after and doing the things that I woke up thinking about most." This way of life is now known to me as a heavy addiction to flow state. I'll cover more about flow and its power in upcoming blogs and I'm excited to share with you my experiences and struggles with flow, high performance, mindset and behaviours and the impacts it has had on myself and others. Hopefully it lands well for you and you get some nuggets on how you can apply some cool stuff that you may or may not be aware of in your own life, so you can stay on the beautiful side of flow. 

I'm so grateful for the possibilities my life has once again opened up for me through performance coaching. I'm truly loving helping others optimise their performance and make massive strides in their professional and personal worlds. People inspire me and being trusted with their own courage and vulnerability is a massive honour that i am grateful for and do not take for granted. It requires a lot of courage and vulnerability to dive deep into yourself and pull out the extraordinary that is true to what makes you come alive!